A New Approach to Preventing Postpartum Depression and Anxiety


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Depression, anxiety, and autoimmune symptoms after birth is not how it’s supposed to be. There is a much better way, and I’m here to show you how to do just that. Hey, my friend, I’m Maranda Bower, a mother to four kids and a biology student turned scientist obsessed with changing the world through postpartum care. Join us as we talk to mothers and the providers who serve them and getting evidence-based information that actually supports the mind, body and soul in the years after birth.
Welcome to Postpartum University Podcast. Maranda Bower here, your host and I have a hot trigger alert, my friends. I’m going to dive deep into avoiding postpartum depression and anxiety today, which is always met with a public outcry. Why? Because we are taught that, as postpartum depression and anxiety exist, it doesn’t discriminate that we are never immune from it, so we, as providers, are taught that there is no way we can prevent such things from happening. The word prevent is a major source of contention as well, and I clearly don’t agree.
One out of three women in the United States will develop postpartum depression. Around 75% of women with postpartum depression will also have postpartum anxiety, and we know that black women are more likely to experience this mental health diagnosis, as well as women who fall near or below the poverty level, not to mention the major healthcare bias women face today. I’m betting that if men had such a high prevalence of depression, anxiety, suicide rates, and autoimmune issues after they gave birth, it wouldn’t be a problem anymore.
And I’m first mentioning all of this to really dismantle the idea, the very teaching we’re given as providers and practitioners is that mental health doesn’t discriminate, and I’m telling you it absolutely does.
But we know that living in privilege doesn’t exclude you from getting postpartum depression and anxiety either. Okay, so, yes, there are some major components of your social status, your race, and your background that play a role. So too does your lifestyle. And this, my friend, is the biggest component to the entire piece of avoiding perinatal mental health concerns.
Living without postpartum anxiety and depression isn’t just about escaping its grasp. It’s about embracing a lifestyle that genuinely works, a lifestyle that nourishes our mind, our body, our souls. It’s a lifestyle that allows us to celebrate the beauty of motherhood while caring for our mental and physical well-being with intention and love. And, dare I say, that is the biggest missing factor in our society today, because we can’t focus there and I’m focused there we are too busy doing all the other things that life has given us. So in my book I share the Mama Thrive method. It’s whole body support, nourishment, sleep, nervous system care, and rhythms and rituals. Literally, there’s imagine an ongoing circle, right? And these components the whole body support, nourishment, sleep, nervous system, care and rhythms and rituals are kind of making this circle and it goes round and round and this is the cycle that you want to follow for your lifestyle. It’s legit a lifestyle. These are the pieces that are interwoven into my own life. If I just did them once in a while when I find a moment, they wouldn’t work. It would work for a hot minute. And I’m telling you, as mamas, we don’t need to live from one hot minute to the next. We need to live fully in the ebbs and flows and feel content and nourished and loved along the way. Yes, there’s an ebb and flow and there’s moments we don’t feel amazing. Living in bliss and happiness is not a 24 seven thing. That’s unattainable, it’s unachievable, it’s not a great standard to live by, but being content as life happens, knowing there will be good moments following the not so good moments, knowing that you can always come back to you, knowing that you will always feel like you can come back into a safe place in your body. That is the goal.
I’m gonna give you a very, very personal example here. Super personal story. I’m actually not sure why I’m sharing this on a podcast, but here I am. I’m sharing this with you. My son is almost 14 and he has lived with me all of these years. My son, his father and I separated when he was six months old. Many of you know the story of my deep, dark postpartum depression and anxiety and really how I lost my relationship with my partner at that time and that was a huge component of me just not being able to life. He’s a great person, a great father, but I’ve since remarried and my son goes to his dad’s house on the weekends. He has a whole split life. It’s not exciting, it’s not fun. It comes with lots of frustrations on his side and our side as parents as well. Well, he’s older now, almost 14, and he wants to go live with dad and it’s kind of heartbreaking. Dad doesn’t live in our town, he lives in the next town over, which is a bit of a drive, it’s a commute, there’s going to new schools, it’s new providers and it’s incredibly difficult and I have to set myself up throughout the day to really eat well, to make sure I’m set for sleep, that I’m not overwhelmed by my home and my responsibilities, because I’m already overwhelmed with what’s happening.
I’m going through a moment in time where I’m having to adjust and accept this new transition and I’m having to deal with my own emotions and my feelings, so I don’t have time to worry about all of the other things that are happening. I don’t have time to think about making a healthy meal because I’m just I’ve got other things going on in my head, in my space, my time and my attention is taken up and at the end of the day I’m tired.
It just feels like a lot. But the great thing is when you have this setup for you already, it’s already a part of my lifestyle. It’s not something that I actually have to think extra about. I don’t have to think about making a healthy meal because I’m already set up for it. I don’t have to think about going to bed early and relaxing my nervous system and what can I do to chill out, because my system is already set up for that. Okay, so at the end of the day, I’m already giving myself the best and I can come back into my body and feel safe within that, knowing that I’ve given myself the best, not coming back at the end of the day saying, ah, I should have done this. And I’m feeling so overwhelmed and all the laundry and the dishes are piling up and I just don’t know what to do and I’m lost.
The Mama Thrive method is the key to helping me simplify, to understand what’s really important, and to allow me to build a life around supporting myself so that I can better support my family. When my grandma passed away this year, it was really hard to implement this lifestyle. It was hard to get out of bed, it was hard to eat, it was hard to breathe, but because it was our lifestyle, my family knew what I needed. It was already a part of our routine, it’s just something that we do. So they just did the things that they were used to doing and eventually, I came out of my cocoon and I didn’t have to heal a bunch of other things like getting my diet back on track or feeling overwhelmed by the disaster of a house that I had. It wasn’t that at all and I knew exactly what I was coming back into because it was all clear, it was all laid out for me, it was already a part of my lifestyle and I know when I am living my best life, when my body is completely taken care of, not only can I handle these intense situations that happen because life happens, but also when it happens to others, I can give so much more of myself because there’s just more to give.
So when my kids need something, when people get sick I have four kids y’all that happens. Back to school is happening very soon. There’s so much to do, but there’s back-to-school night, there’s getting back to school supplies, there’s talking with teachers, there’s prepping for extracurricular activities.
Of course, I just shared with you my big thing with my son moving to another school and there’s just so much transpiring. But it makes it so much easier to just be like I know exactly what’s here, I know exactly what’s needed and it’s all so much easier for me to give of myself because I am so deeply cared for. At the end of the day, it always comes back to that.
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One of my favorite tips is thinking about the practical side of things first. It’s so hard for me to get myself into a space of caring for my mental health, the thoughts, the spiritual side of things, even if I’m stuck with a massive amount of to-dos. If laundry is piling up, there’s unanswered emails, kids fighting, did I mention I have three girls? Right, three girls. There’s lots of sister love and fighting and I have to manage that first. This living a minimalist life has really helped with that. It’s clear. It’s like I have like a cleansing process. My house gets cleansed so much it literally takes me less than three minutes to clean up my entire living room y’all because I have chosen to get rid of all the distractions. I have just got rid of it literally bags of things out my door. I am not dealing with it anymore so that I can set myself up for success. And this is true for my routines and it’s true for everything in my life. And all of this goes down to that Mama Thrive method. It legit takes away the overwhelm.
So for me. I’m gonna give you an example. When it comes to nourishment, I make sure that this is super easy. Nourishment is one of the most foundational pieces to healing. If you are not nourished, chances are you’re definitely going to be experiencing depression anxiety. It triggers inflammation within our body, which we know is the source of depression anxiety. It won’t get into all of that here, but I’m telling you nourishment number one focus. That is where you go. Start first. Everything okay, so find nourishment. So for me that means I need to meal plan. So every Sunday I sit down. I actually have a list that I go through. It’s already set up. I have a six-week menu that’s already laid out. It’s for fall and winter meals and then I have another six-week meal plan that’s for spring and summer and it’s really based upon what we have as homesteaders. We hunt, we fish, we source locally for a lot of things and make our own jams and jellies and just all sorts of really fun stuff, and we get local meat where we need outside of hunting and fishing and all of that. So I take a look in the very beginning of the season. I create what we our meal plan based on what we have, and then that’s what we have. That’s my meal plan. So I don’t have to meal plan, necessarily, but what I do like to do is sit down every Sunday and say to myself okay, does this make sense? Maybe there’s a birthday coming up that we’re gonna have a birthday dinner instead of that particular meal. Or I know that we have a special school event where it’s like a spaghetti drive or something, while I won’t have to cook a meal on that day. So I’m looking ahead at my week. I make sure that I go shopping and I do the online shopping y’all. I make sure that I am not spending a lot of time in the grocery store. It works for us. I also noticed that specific stores are better at this than others, so you might have to play around with it, but I order all my stuff online. We go pick it up Monday when I am dropping my girls off at gymnastics or at school, whatever day it is, and then I have crockpot meals. I love my instant pot. I love my crockpot. That is what I live by. So in the day, I just throw in some ingredients and I call it good. I literally spend five to 10 minutes making a meal for dinner. That is it. That is all I want to spend time on. There are other times when I like to give a little bit more. If I have more time in my day I can plan for that, but oftentimes that’s not what I do and I set myself up for dishes. This is such a genius thing and I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to figure out the thing for this. Dishes are a really big source of frustration overwhelmed for so many moms, myself included. So everyone in my house is getting a color-coded dish set their own color-coded cup, plate, bowl, fork, spoon, knife. You get one. You get legit one, and you are responsible for that, every single meal. You’re responsible for cleaning it yourself. So the only thing that I have to worry about is my four-year-old, because that is not obviously something she is going to be great at, but she is going to learn that that is an easy task for a four-year-old to learn. All of my other children can be self-sufficient and take care of that themselves, and it cuts away so much dishes and then just to have a dish space for extras for guests. That has been absolutely life-changing. So when I’m done with cooking dinner or prepping a meal, I just throw what we have in the dishwasher and call it good and it cuts down like 80% of the dishes that we have to do. It’s absolutely phenomenal. So, as you can see, I’m telling you this because it’s a whole system, right, there’s a whole system for nourishment and my whole family is in on it. It’s not something that I take full responsibility on. I pass off that responsibility in ways that work for my family so that they can do what they need to do, to take care of what it is that they need to do. If you want the next meal on a clean dish, well, you better take care of it, because it’s not my responsibility, right? So I am setting myself up for success.
Now here’s the thing. Nourishing myself in this way, making sure I have easy go-to meals, that I don’t have to have the space or the brain space to really think about the next meal. I don’t have to spend a lot of time cooking or shopping for the next meal. I don’t have to do a lot of dishes. I’m just nourished really well without exerting so much effort, and so I’m replenishing my nutrient stores on a daily basis. That is balancing my hormones, it’s helping me sleep, it’s helping me relax, all the things. This is a massive step for prevention of postpartum depression and anxiety. Are you seeing how this all connects here?
When it comes to my nervous system, I’ve done the same thing. I have a morning routine and an evening routine that incorporates rest. It incorporates journaling, prayer. I have a reading routine to help me calm down. I also have stretches, and that’s just part of my routine that really takes care of my nervous system on a daily basis, to the point where I really look forward to my mornings and I really look forward to my evenings as well. It feels so divine. It’s something that I get to come into every night. It’s just juicy, it just feels so good. These are practical tools that work for me, for my needs, and they have become a part of my life. When the not-so-great parts of life happen, as they always do, as I’ve explained earlier and shared some of my personal stories, I still have a part of this that I get to hold on to.
Pregnancy often brings about major life changes. With my first, that’s really how I got into this whole non-toxic, natural minimalism lifestyle. I say that loosely because you all know I live in the middle of nowhere Alaska, on 20 acres. There’s really only so much minimalism that I can do. I’m not one to fit in a box, but I do what feels really good for me. A new baby brings about so many changes. It’s almost easier to set lifestyle changes and to get out of the old routines that don’t serve you, but it’s also obviously very much easier to get thrown out of a loop, to not have a routine and a schedule. When you have so much going on in your life, it’s even more this way. That’s why it’s so important to create an easy, minimalist lifestyle that focuses on this Mama Thrive method, which is the key components to your health and well-being. When you focus here and reduce everything else, get rid of the rest, delegate it, take it off your plate, go give it to somebody else who maybe wants it, donate your things, all the stuff, seriously cleanse, get rid of it. It’s so amazing and it’s life-changing.
It’s very much easier to be on track and keep things simple. There’s so much more that I could cover in this episode, like finding your community support, how you can find the right help, and so much more.
I encourage you to really sit down with a pen and paper and determine what’s working in your life, clear out what isn’t, get rid of the noise, the distractions, the things that take you away from caring for yourself and doing what you feel is important, living a healthy lifestyle that supports you. And big times of change like having a baby, being in the postpartum period this is such a game changer. This very thing can help prevent so many from experiencing postpartum depression and anxiety. It’s something we have control over in our lives, like race or social status or being a woman, which is really a whole other podcast episode. I’m mentioning it because I very much value it and feel it’s important, but we’ll come back to it. I’ve already had more other episodes, but we’ll leave it at that.
As we really wrap up this episode, remember that preventing postpartum depression and anxiety is not about perfection, but about progress and supporting your unique needs. By embracing the Mama Thrive method and interweaving its principles into your lives, you set yourself up on a path of success, of self-discovery, of self-care and empowerment. Of course, there are times you’re going to get off track, but you always have something to come back to and it feels good, it feels easy, you yearn for it, you desire it, and it clears out the rest of the gunk, that doesn’t matter to you and it allows you to show up as the best mom that you want to be and the mother that you want to show up as. Take that for what it’s worth. Connect in with us. Let us know if it was this episode helpful for you.
We would love to hear your thoughts in the Facebook group. We’d love to know more about what’s worked for you. What are some systems and strategies that you’ve put in place? What are the practical things that you’ve done so that you can be clearheaded, so that when you have something that comes up for you, it’s so much easier to deal with, it’s so much easier to process rather than having to shove under the rug? So hope that helps you in avoiding postpartum anxiety and depression and setting yourself up for such success. Good luck. I am so grateful you turned into the Postpartum University podcast. We’ve hoped you enjoyed this episode enough to leave us a quick review. And, more importantly, I hope more than ever that you take what you’ve learned here, applied it to your own life and consider joining us in the Postpartum University membership. It’s a private space where mothers and providers learn the real truth and the real tools needed to heal in the years postpartum. You can learn more at wwwpostpartumu. That’s the letter U.com. We’ll see you next week.
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Let’s have a conversation about the unpopular opinion of preventing postpartum depression and anxiety.
I want to let you in on the secret to mental wellness postpartum, The Mama Thrive method.